We experience low self-esteem as if we were inferior - had lower value compared to other people who in our eyes mean "more" than we do (they have more knowledge, do something better than we do or do what we cannot do, have what we do not have, e.g. attention of others). Therefore we need to improve our low self-esteem to become like them, because only then we will be truly happy. We try to do it by changing of our mind, when we try to replace negative thoughts with the positive affirmations and/or by improving our own impression in the eyes of others – by new car, face-lifting, partner, handbag, selfie from the best possible angle, extensive knowledge...
What is really going on?
Improving of our self-esteem is like chasing own tail by our four-legged furry friends. The low self-esteem does not really exist, and by trying to improve it, we are just chasing shadow of real problem that is happening inside of us.
In the past, whether near or far, we have experienced situations that triggered inside of us unpleasant emotions - pain, sadness… Maybe someone hurt us by his/her words or actions. However, we did not express our emotions, but suppressed them and it has begun to manifest in our mind by the voice of "other me" which started to say “you are looser, nobody, not enough. ..” We have paid attention and followed this voice in our head. By trying to change that negative thoughts to the positive ones, we are getting more and more engaged in the game in which we have to continually make efforts to keep ourselves in the positive state, in the bubble. But it cannot be forever. That's why the heights are followed by the lows - after moments when our self-esteem is shining on every side we feel like even bigger wretches than before.
As well as positive thoughts, making up our impression on others will only bring temporary satiation because the cause of the problem is somewhere else and soon we are again caught in a low self-esteem trap, when the voice in our head needs even better car, another handbag, (fill in) for us to be finally happy.
The same movie of heights s and lows without any resolution and that what we truly desire - inner happiness, is constantly playing in front of us. This is because we ourselves have put disk with the movie "How to improve my self-esteem" in the projector. By not facing our emotions, accepting and expressing them...
There are many people in the world who are considered as "highly self-confident" people (including many motivators in the field of personal development who are helping others to increase their self-confidence) but in reality behind the curtains, in the depths of their soul they feel otherwise as they present outwards, of course by playing the high self-esteem game they cannot accept it and so they pay for it – with their true happiness.